Do You Love Too Much?
Do you dismiss your needs,
set aside your dreams,
and ignore red flags
all in the name of
LOVE?
Within romantic relationships,
do you…
Continually seek validation and approval from your partners?
Assign magical qualities to your partners, idealizing them then blaming them for not fulfilling your fantasies?
Within romantic relationships does
LOVE = PAIN?
I can help.
My name is Kim Kabar. I am an LGBTQ+ affirming licensed marriage and family therapist working as a life coach. I help people who struggle in love. Love for others and love for oneself.
How we love within intimate relationships is learned in our childhoods. It is taught, directly and indirectly by our primary caretakers, such as our parents, who learned from their parents, who learned from their parents, who learned from their parents.
Problem is that a mistake was made,
who knows how many generations ago,
within the primary equation of love.
An error that has you now struggling in relationships.
What is the ERROR
Within the
Equation of LOVE?
It is this…
INCORRECT → Love = Fear
We may never know how our caregivers or their caretakers before them got that equation wrong.
Our work together is about learning new ways to love using the correct equation.
CORRECT → Love ≠ Fear
Love and fear can not be in the same space. Fear makes us mistrustful, clingy and insecure. Fear can make us avoid intimacy. Avoid real love.
I help you learn how to love without fear.
LOVE FEARLESSLY
You are not helpless.
You are not powerless.
You can love without pain.
Allow me to show you how.
About me
Kim Kabar, LMFT
HEALER OF HEARTS
Help for the
broken hearted.
Education
Master of Science in Counseling
California State University, Fullerton
Bachelor of Science in Communications
California Polytechnic University, Pomona
My Specialties
- Relationship Dependency
- Relationship Avoidance
- Compulsive Behaviours
- Obsessive Thinking
- Low Self Esteem
- Anxiety And Depression
- Grief And Loss
Something that makes me…
GIDDY
Serendipitous moments
SMILE
Sunflowers
WINCE
Judgment
PROUD
Being an LGBTQ+ Ally
JOYFUL
Being witness to others transformations
My core values
Living in
INTEGRITY
Making a
DIFFERENCE
Living
JOYOUSLY
Being
AUTHENTIC
Celebrating
CREATIVITY
It has taken me…
Years
Months
Weeks
Days
Hours
Minutes
…To walk the path that leads to you.
Why I do what I DO:
Suicide prevention
FACT: Broken Relationships are the #1 Cause of suicides
(Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)
A man I dearly loved took his life following our break-up. His death caused a monumental ripple effect, not only in my life, but within many others whose lives he deeply touched.
Love may be the first thing that a person considers when entering a relationship, but it is also the number one reason why one commits suicide. Of the approximately 47,000 people who died by suicide in 2017, the Center for Disease Control estimates that nearly half died by suicide for reasons that included intimate relationship problems.
The need to feel a sense of connection is an innate human need. In addition to experiencing attachment issues within romantic relationships, individuals within the LGBTQ+ community often must struggle with the sense of disconnection as it relates to homophobia and transphobia. One study found that lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals are four times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual people. In transgender communities, those rates are even higher: 43% of transgender people have attempted suicide in their lifetime.
My life’s commitment is to help the broken-hearted emerge from the darkness of despair resulting from the loss of others or oneself. If you are in that darkness, allow me to walk alongside you for a bit. I’ve been on the same path. I know the way out. You are not alone. Allow me to be your guide through your confusion, sorrow and pain and toward a place of greater strength, self-love and wisdom.
How it works
I partner with you to help you identify and achieve your
- personal,
- relationship and/or
- professional goals.
You create powerful results
by having the willingness to take actions that, no matter the initial discomfort, ultimately propel you forward within your life.
Fees
$125 weekly or $450 pre-paid monthly (4 sessions). Not covered by insurance. Fee includes:
- Scheduled one-on-one weekly coaching sessions
- E-mail and text messaging support between sessions
- Individualized “homework” that is specific to your goals
- Resources that are specific to your needs
- Pre-session preparation exercise
- Post-session follow-up summaries
Services
LGBTQ + Affirmative
Life is too short to be someone else. I provide a safe space for individuals within the LGBTQ+ community. I have been a LGBTQ+ ally for more than 30 years, including serving as a board member for the Pomona-San Gabriel LGBT Coalition in California and being honored to counsel many LGBTQ+ 
individuals and couples as an associate marriage and family therapist for the LGBT Center in Orange County, California. I am experienced and trained in issues faced by our transgender youth and adults, including any struggles related to transitioning and gender dysphoria. I am committed to my mission to help members of the LGBTQ+ community live freely and proudly within your loving truths. Truths that include who you love, how you love and how you want to be loved.
Relationships
My work with individuals who struggle within painful romantic relationships started in 1987. I created a support group based on the then-bestseller book, “Women Who Love Too much.” Since then, I have continued to serve as either mentor, therapist or life coach to individuals desiring to understand and break free from the pull toward romantic relationships that either leave them feeling suffocated and emotionally detached or anxious and needy.
In 2017, I compiled much of the knowledge related to breaking free from toxic relationships and created a powerful weekly support group called, “Heartbeats: Learning New Ways to Love.” Learning to create boundaries, heal from heartbreaks and to discern between prospective mates are just a few of the many lessons I help you learn as your life coach.
When food is love
For many of us who struggle in love, food often becomes a substitute for love.We overeat in an attempt to satisfy our emotional hunger. We look to food to soothe our aching hearts. Why? Food never leaves.
Following a rejection, we may look down at our bodies and think, “this is why I am not loveable.” We may become yo-yo dieters, looking to diets and weight loss to make us loveable.
My experience with helping my clients transform their relationships with food and with their bodies is rooted in my own past struggles with emotional eating and body dissatisfaction that once consumed me for decades. My commitment to break free from this spirit-crushing generational pattern eventually led me on a quest to attain knowledge in the areas of nutrition, exercise and mindful eating.
In 2013, I created the powerful Hungry for Less 
workshop in Long Beach, California. I taught men and women about the connection between love and food. With a focus on helping reduce the painful emotions that are often at the root of overeating, I helped my clients fall back in love with food and with their bodies.
Coaching vs Therapy
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist working as a life coach. As a life coach, neither my clients nor myself are restricted nor protected by various laws that govern licensed counselors. As a life coach I do not diagnose mental disorders nor am I able to accept health insurance as payment.
As your life coach, I incorporate the knowledge gained from earning a master’s degree in counseling and earning the 3,000 post-graduate training hours for licensure, as well as more than 30 years of coaching, mentoring and counseling experience, into our coaching work together. It is my belief that as a life coach, who has earned a license in counseling, I am able to offer my clients a depth of experience and knowledge that allows them to achieve their goals and much more.
Contact me!
To learn how I may help you end your struggles within relationships and with achieving your life goals, connect with me now to schedule a free consultation.
You can reach me at
(928) 793-3565;
by email healerofhearts@kimkabar.com
or using the form below: